She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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