So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Randomize
