The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Randomize