Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize