Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Randomize
