so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
