Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
