and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
is wine microwaveable?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
