Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
