i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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