3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
too bad you live with your parents still
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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