im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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