I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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