ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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