Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
