Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
The feeling are messing with the penis
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
