I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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