I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
