No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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