I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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