My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Acid is not a monday night drug
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize