Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
