I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
