I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize