What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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