Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
