dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
