we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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