How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
