I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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