Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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