idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
