I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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