Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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