I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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