I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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