i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize