Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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