dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
