i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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