Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
