please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
