he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Gay?
German.
Pity.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
