Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
