went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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