I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
