Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize