She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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