my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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