My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
