I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
The struggles of a small town man whore
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
