Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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