Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize