i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
