when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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