I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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