Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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