Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
