There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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