Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i came on her dog
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
