I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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