if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
