now i know why i became what i already was.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
