Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I just found puke in my bra..
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
They took my balls.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
