Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
