C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
