i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
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