So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
