i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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