the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
