It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
