From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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