once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
