I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
