pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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