I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize