Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Do you remember whose house we're in?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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