I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
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