Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
