my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
